ShelterNet's Healthy Relationship IQ Test for Teens

I love the website http://shelternet.ca  Its so helpful, and has great resources for victims of domestic violence.  I found this IQ test for teens about healthy relationships.

What’s my Healthy Relationship IQ?

Give yourself a point for each sentence that describes the relationship you are in now. If you don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend right now, think about if these sentences describe what you would want in a relationship.

1. We both decide how we're going to spend time together as a couple; no one is "in charge."
   
2. We still find time for our own activities, apart from each other.
   
3. My boyfriend or girlfriend is there for me in the good times and the bad.
   
4. It's okay to disagree with each other; we can talk about our differences and look for "win-win" solutions.
   
5. We're comfortable about taking time away from each other, to spend with our own friends and family.
   
6. We're not afraid to say how we feel about things.
   
7. We don't worry about what will happen if the other person gets angry.
   
8. We respect each other's limits, and don't pressure each other to go beyond those limits.
   
9. Neither of us restricts or controls the other.
   
10. We've taken time to become sexually intimate, and we're able to be honest about our feelings in this part of our relationship.

If you've scored 8-10, congratulations on having such a high healthy relationship IQ! Less than 8? Maybe it's time for some honest talk with your boyfriend/girlfriend about the times in your relationship that you feel restricted or controlled, or unable to be yourself. Less than 5? You deserve better.  There are people you can talk  to if you need help figuring out what to do about the relationship you are in.

© Shelternet for Abused Women 2009

Its an Education

I have learned so much about abusive personalities.  As a survivor of domestic violence, I have participated in many support groups and counselling to educated myself, and really recongnise those "red flags".
I guess I was basically sheltered from all the bad in world, and never knew anything about abusive personalities.  In my world everyone was so loving and supportive...I never knew the darker side of life.

I started this site to help others and educate them. I feel you can never stop learning, to help yourself and others. 

I love interacting with others, and sharing my experiences from the past to help any way I can. I think at some point when you are in a violent relationship, you will question yourself, and really wonder if you are really going through all this.  It seems like a bad dream.    Awareness will really help you understand what happens in an abusive relationship, and ways you can safely leave.

Thanks for stopping by.